What are you building?

And what are you breaking down?

What are you trying to create?

And what are you trying to destroy?

We observe, but we are not observers; we are actors. Engagers. Change-makers.

Whether we’re making the system, or breaking the system ... we have important work to do, and we can’t lose sight of that.

When you’re having a side-conversation while someone is presenting, you’re not listening to the speaker. And it doesn’t stop there.

It’s not just the people involved in the side-conversation who are no longer listening to the presentation. The people who overhear that side-conversation — or who see it happening — they’re distracted too. At its worst, the speaker even becomes a part of that distracted group.

Being a good audience member doesn’t take skill ... but it does take discipline. Have some self-control and save that side-conversation for the right time.

In a quick text, “nowhere to go but up,” auto-completed to, “nowhere to go but uphill.” It’s a funny shift in meaning.

We often talk about “up” as being a positive condition. Things are looking up. The market is up.

But uphill? That points to struggle. Hardship.

Easy to forget that when things aren’t moving upwards on their own ... we can begin to climb. That uphill is a journey worth taking. That “up” is a condition we can make happen.

Sometimes the hard part is just showing up. Being present. Being accountable.

For as much effort as it takes to avoid encounters, to give excuses, to hide — that’s the easier thing to do.

Having the moxie to show up as you are ... to say, “This is who I am, and this is what I bring,” ... that takes guts.

It doesn’t take special training or formal education. It takes desire, and a little bit of nerve.

Stop hiding. It’s time to be seen.

What’s important to you?

Do your actions reflect what you say is important?

Or do you let less relevant activities fill up your days?

If something’s important enough to say “it’s important” then let your actions show it. Commit to it. Make a plan. Set a schedule. Make progress.

If you’re not willing to take those steps, you’d better stop saying it’s important.

When you ask, when you petition, when you beseech, when you pray ... is it for yourself, or for others? Who benefits from the majority of your requests? Are you thinking of yourself first, or of someone else?

What’s interesting is that when you think of others first — when you work on their behalf — it nourishes you too. Win-win.

Over time, your song will change. The lyrics will vary. So will its melody and tempo.

That’s OK. That’s natural.

The thing to remember: don’t stop singing.

The world needs to hear your voice … and you’re the only one who can sing your song.

The fair-weather fan has a challenge. He has to figure out how the team is performing to know how to cheer. He has to know that the team is winning in order to wear the team colors. He has to check the numbers to set his allegiance.

The true fan cheers from the heart. She loves the team no matter the score or the record. She roots for the team whether they’re up or they’re down. It’s about the team, not the stats they’re posting this week.

And perhaps there’s a metaphor here. Strong families ... enduring relationships ... they’re built with the spirit of a true fan. Better or worse. Scoring or scoreless. Their commitment is through and through ... and the weather’s not a factor.

When I drive to a different part of the country, I often think: I’m representing my home state. I have a Pennsylvania license plate. That means something.

When I merge into traffic ... when I demonstrate courtesy ... when I park in a lot ... people will have occasion to think, “Hmm. This is what people from Pennsylvania are like.”

It’s illogical, but they’re more likely to consider me as a representative of an entire state than they are to think, “This is what one person from that state is like.”

Like it or not, we tend to represent the folks back home. We’re ambassadors.

Particularly when we’re away from hometowns, let’s do a good job of representing our people.

I used a newly renovated bathroom yesterday. It was clean and the finishes were beautiful … but a few things were not quite right.

The toilet seat was loose. The sink was not affixed to its base. The faucet was low, making it awkward to wash hands. The towel bar was high and nearly out of reach.

While the design was picture-perfect, the functionality was lacking.

This seems like an example of someone doing the hard work of building something, but not doing the easy work of using it — checking to see that it all works properly. Leaving the role of designer and adopting the role of user.

Design. Build. Test. Adjust if necessary.

If we’re not testing, we’re doing a disservice to those we seek to serve.

The road to mediocrity is paved with critical statements like, “I could do that.”

This idea that one sees something someone else is doing, and whispers to a friend, “Yeah. I could do that.”

As if speaking the dismissive phrase is akin to having actually done the thing.

As if there’s merit in just having the ability to do something. Or saying you do.

No. It’s the doing that deserves the credit.

Those who pooh-pooh the doers ... well, they’re least likely to create much value.

Spend a day in any organization, and you’ll be able to see who the leaders are.

You won’t identify them through an org chart, or where they sit, or what they wear.

You’ll know them by how they interact with others. How they respond to challenges. How they make things better.

Leadership isn’t determined by a label. Leadership is action. It’s poise and posture ... not position.

Some of the books on my bookshelves ... I haven’t read. I intend to read them, but I haven’t gotten to them yet. Some of them have even been on the shelf, unread, for years.

I’ve always felt a tinge of regret about this. As though these books represent small failures. Little goals I never achieved. But a friend helped me to re-frame this.

Unread books serve as a reminder of the many things we do not know. A world of knowledge we have not yet accessed.

A plentiful, personal library — even one filled with unfamiliar texts — is the mark of someone with a healthy, intellectual curiosity. A lifelong learner.

Make time for the unread works, as time goes by. But when you discover pristine books with unblemished spines, don’t feel the sting of self-reproach; see those books through the lens of possibility … and a reminder of your endless passion for learning and growing.

You can learn a lot about people by listening to how they talk about other people.

Much more than, say, the car they drive, or where they live, or what they wear, or what they look like.

Listen to how they speak about other human beings.

You can’t draw a complete picture in this way, but you can come to know something about their hearts.

The flip side of this, of course, is knowing that other people can draw conclusions about you too, based on how you talk about others.

Lighting a fire under someone is different than igniting a fire within someone. If you light a fire under them, they will take action while the fire is lit. But as soon as the flame is gone, the action likely ceases.

Activate the spark within them — help them to access their own passion — and they carry the flame onward ... growing it and making their mark in the world.

Is the story you tell yourself one of sufficiency or of poverty?

Of abundance or of lack?

Of possibility or of obstacle?

In order for us to move forward, we must begin with the attitude of, “I have what I need, right now.”

Mindset. Ambition. Resources. Motivation.

We overcome inertia by recognizing sufficiency, believing in ourselves, and then taking the first step.

Did you forget about the dream you had for yourself?

Did you forget that you are powerful and well-able?

Did you forget the passion you have for being your best self?

Did you forget that you are remarkable?

Pause.

Take a deep breath.

Remember.

That feeling of empowerment ... of possibility ... grasp it once again.

Now pick your head up, set your shoulders, and go.

When a group needs to make a decision, “laying out all the options” does not accomplish the task.

Discussing possibilities, evaluating risks, listing benefits, itemizing contingencies and dependencies ... it can all feel like decision-making.

But until a decision is actually made, we haven’t finished the job.

“What did we decide here?” If we can’t answer that question, there’s still work to do.

When we’re preparing for a trip, we’re careful to pack what will be needed. We take inventory and we evaluate various scenarios. Will I need this? Should I pack that?

Bringing this same kind of thinking to the workday is useful, too, and this goes beyond the material things like a bagged lunch or a notebook.

What kind of attitude should I pack? What kind of mindset? Which persona? Which posture?

Careful packing of these things can be just as important as an i.d. badge or a briefcase.

The things that bring joy to others are not necessarily the things that will bring joy to you.

Said another way, it’s important to listen to your own heart. Mirroring the life of someone who appears contented is a fool’s errand. This essay is your own, and plagiarism will do you no good.