You might need to spend time with a licensed therapist — talking about specific concerns.

But it could be that you need to spend time with a very good friend — talking about nothing at all.

Both could be effective in producing the desired result. Both could be needed.

But start with the friend.

Good decisions can have poor outcomes.

Poor decisions can have good outcomes.

Win or lose, we can’t count on outcomes as reliable teachers.

The thing you’ve spent years learning — training, struggling, practicing, honing — someone’s going to come along and critique it. Without invitation, without credential, without empathy … they’ll offer an opinion.

And that’s OK.

You don’t have to take it personally. You don’t have to take it at all if it doesn’t suit you.

Your goals, aspirations, and tastes will align with some, but not with everyone.

Listen to what helps. Politely ignore the rest.

The task takes one hour. It will be complete an hour from now.

The task takes one hour. It will be complete in five days, periodically addressed among other tasks.

The task takes one hour. It will be complete in thirty days. Twenty-nine days of avoiding it, and one day where it’s prioritized.

In all of it, the task hasn’t changed but for where it lives on the timeline — and how we feel about it.

It’s pretty simple.

When we find ourselves where we want to be, doing what we want to be doing — this is joy and contentment.

And when we find ourselves wanting to be somewhere else and doing something else — this is suffering and frustration.

Where possible, organize your life and mind accordingly.

Having a skilled primary care provider is essential. We need qualified, knowledgeable doctors and practitioners on our team.

But consider: the most important primary care provider — the most primary — isn’t someone else.

It’s you.

All good care begins with how we care for ourselves.

“Hallucination” is the word being used to describe when AI bots like ChatGPT deliver convincing, but inaccurate information. “Fabrications” is a more accurate term.

These factual errors can come in any form and according to researchers, it can happen often (like, 30% and 40% kind of often).

Here’s an example: there are times when ChatGPT will get caught in a loop of false promises. For instance, by saying, “I’m working on it. I’ll update you on my progress.” And when the user asks for verification, say twenty minutes later, the robot insists, “Yes, I’m working through this. Thanks for your patience. It will be a little while longer.” In fact, none of these statements are true. ChatGPT doesn’t work on anything in the background. It ether gives an answer promptly, or not at all.

So perhaps this is another milestone in the development of near-human computers: the ability to promise that something’s being worked on when the work hasn’t even begun. Amusing, but a little sad, too. A spinning hourglass is one thing, but getting slow-walked by a computer isn’t something we expect.

AI chatbots are incredibly powerful tools. Frighteningly so at times. No need to shy from them, but also, not wise to suspend our own judgement, reasoning, and practical skepticism.

Of course, don’t just trust me. I dropped this text into ChatGPT and it verified that what I’ve penned is accurate, thoughtful, and well-written. Thanks, robot.

Look around in any group. You’ll see people who are well-rested and tired, hydrated and hungover, caught-up and behind schedule … all of these and more.

There are proud and sheepish reasons for any given state (we have our reasons for what we do).

* * *

Everyone is navigating the natural consequences of the choices they made yesterday.

So a question: what are you teeing up for tomorrow?

There’s always three versions of you. The you of yesterday, you today, and the you of tomorrow.

What’s the relationship between these three? Do they know each other well? Are they collaborators? Rivals?

Is there tension, resentment, or judgement?

What happens when there’s acceptance, support, and even love?

The three always exist. Perhaps they could be better friends.

Occasionally, a school-age sports team’s practice is cancelled with a note like this:

“A lot of players can’t make it tonight, so we’re going to cancel practice. Enjoy the night off.”

In an over-scheduled hyper-busy culture, this message is usually welcomed by parents.

However, this also marks a missed opportunity.

If a team of fifteen practices for two hours with a few coaches, what does it look like when the numbers are much smaller but the schedule remains the same? A slim crew of a half-dozen might benefit greatly from that focused coaching attention. Let’s look at the details. Let’s revisit foundational skills. Let’s work out some bugs.

The limited attendance may be an opportunity rather than a cause for cancellation.

So a question for your group or organization: how many make it worthwhile? How many do you need for a practice or program to run? Is five enough? What about two? Only one?

Sometimes we need to cancel. Other times, there might be an opportunity.

When you want to remember something — a package destined for the post office, for instance — you put it on the counter or you place it by the door.

You don’t hide it away. You don’t secrete it. You put it somewhere obvious.

How about your skills and talents? Do you need reminders of these?

Consider a visual clue. A sign of sorts. Perhaps it’s a signal to yourself that only you understand, but a signal nonetheless.

If you risk forgetting who you are and what you’re capable of doing, keep a reminder where you’re sure not to miss it.

Your struggle today is not mine. And my struggle today is not yours.

Our laughter and tears, joys and sorrows — they do not always align.

Yet we see each other and there is a knowing.

We are not synchronous but for our deep, mutual care.

We are together because of it.

Between what’s known and what’s unknown, each of us finds a usual balance. Some slot into routines, sticking to a set pattern — a kind of fixed menu. Others prefer a continual influx of new and never-tried. It’s different for everyone.

The trouble comes at the edges of the spectrum.

When we’re tightly coupled to a predetermined selection, there’s no room for discovery. Meaning: there’s little opportunity to find new favorites.

On the other side of it, when we’re constantly seeking out what’s new, there can be a kind of emptiness. The excitement of curiosity can become a desperate search for the next best thing.

So from time to time, it’s helpful to shift modes. To introduce new things, which could become new delights — or to camp a bit on what’s known to us, allowing a deeper appreciation for what is.

Amateurs don’t have time for fundamentals; professionals practice the fundamentals regularly.

We don’t begin with calculus. Not even the most basic calculus.

We begin with general concepts like “more” and “how many.” Then, counting and shapes. And we build upon those fundamentals.

To start with simple algebra, simple trigonometry, simple geometry, and simple calculus — skipping the fundamentals of how numbers work — is to build on a non-existent foundation.

When we find ourselves at a point of confusion or frustration in a given endeavor, it’s worth asking, “Did I begin by mastering the fundamentals?”

H/T MB

Sales Associate: “Would you be interested in trading in your vehicle for the newest model? We have one on the lot. I see you have low mileage and we’d be happy to have your pre-owned vehicle in our inventory.”

Me: “I’m sure you would. But the person who’d buy that low-mileage used vehicle is me. And I already own it.”

Sometimes what you want is actually what you already have. Others might try to convince you otherwise. Don’t be swayed.

“I want to work hard but I’m not especially focused on the outcomes.”
“I want certain outcomes but I’m not especially focused on working hard.”

The first is a sustainable, rewarding practice.

The second is a setup for disappointment.

Get used to doing the work. Fall in love with it if you can and it won’t really feel like work.

Consider the overall size of a bicycle. Now consider its stopping mechanism: brake pads that are a fraction of the overall size.

It’s a two-sided metaphor. In one sense, a little bit of pressure in the right place brings everything to halt. But also, relieving that little bit of pressure allows things to move freely once again.

In our lives, when we know where to push and where to release, we can influence the entire system.

I have a few friends who live in Asheville, North Carolina. They’ve been top of mind and close to heart for the past week.

Frank, a painter, has begun what will be a long journey in resurrecting Marshall High Studios — a historic brick schoolhouse that houses twenty-six artists’ studios. The building was hit hard by flood waters.

Frank’s mantra of late: “This is a little better.”

Bailing water, shoveling mud from hallways, removing debris — all of it together seems insurmountable. But making a small bit of progress here and there starts to make a significant impact.

Consistently working for “a little better” is how we move toward a lot better.

If the system is working slowly, it’s often a good idea to close the programs you’re no longer using. You can try restarting various processes too.

When those things don’t help, try a soft reset. Shut it down completely, then restart after a short time.

It might be a good idea to check for viruses, too, but try the simpler steps first.

Of course, this is advice about your body and your mind, but it can also be applied effectively to various computers and devices too.