Asking, “What do you want me to do?” can be useful, particularly when expectations are unclear.

The trouble comes when the answer is, “I want you to do something without me having to tell you to do it.”

It’s the difference between equal partnership, and a relationship where one person is a doer, and the other is a doer and a director.

That second role involves more emotional labor. Knowing the schedule. Knowing the big picture. Understanding the various moving parts.

Sometimes “help” is more than satisfying requests. Sometimes “help” is becoming more involved. Taking on more responsibility. Knowing what’s going on. Doing, without having to be told.