Look at me... or don't

"Look at me when I'm talking to you."

You might hear a frustrated parent saying this to a child.

Of course, we know that looking isn't always an indicator of actual listening.

Looking can help to curtail distraction, but it's not a sure thing. I've often stared at someone's mouth moving while my mind wanders far from what they're saying.

I wonder if we might offer a different invitation from time to time: "Close your eyes and really listen to what I'm saying."

Forget the visual. Don't worry about eye contact. Focus on the words. Hear them. Listen.