As I arrived home with my eight-year-old son, a neighbor waived to us and said, “Hey! What’s up?” In the context of us being across the street from each other, and each of us heading toward our front doors, “Hey!” (with a wave) was quite an appropriate reply.

My son waved, but did not say anything. I tried to correct him: “Say ‘hello’ next time.”

“But Dad, ‘Hi,’ doesn’t answer his question. He asked, ‘What’s up?’ and I was thinking about it.”

For me, it’s a good lesson. Sure, there are plenty of times that we pass a friend or acquaintance and say, “What’s up?” or, “How are ya?” and what we really mean is, “Hello!”

But it’s not too far of a stretch for us to be at a dinner party or a one-on-one where we offer a “How are you?” without really meaning it.

To connect — to really connect — we might be careful about those chatty questions and replies.

There are times when a heartfelt, “How are you?” — said intentionally — can change the trajectory of someone’s day, or much more.